I have been MI.A. from my mommyheartandsoul Instagram account because it was stressing me out.
It's sounds silly to admit that because I decided to do this blog as a fun hobby on the side. But...I felt like the presence that is required to get a following means a lot of time. I was constantly holding my phone, waiting for the next thing to post about- whether it be what we were doing, a cool mom hack, a fast but healthy recipe, a cute photo, a funny experience and so on. I was not able to put the time into the Instagram in the way I felt good about.
We are a tech family, and I encourage technology and screens and devices because this is the world we live in. However, I do not encourage the addictions that can form, the moods that are affected, and the disengagement it causes.
It breaks my heart to think my kids may look at me and I have my nose in the screen.
Or that somehow something as simple as a mommy Instagram is more important than them. It's not to dump on motherhood accounts- or any account! Because I think it is a great source for community and resources and sharing ideas,tips,etc. Hence, I wanted to get in the space.
I think it is important for kids to learn there are other things going on in my life that take my attention. And that no matter how much I love them, my job is not to sit there smiling at them constantly fully attended to them 24/7- because that is not healthy either.
So, my job includes teaching them that while they are my little loves, there are realistic tasks and other things the require attention to keep the world going round. I just would prefer those things to be more meaningful, like a phone call with a friend to teach social interaction, or spending my time cleaning the house to feel organized and clean, or to go workout to give myself good health. Those sound like much better lessons that getting lost in the endless insta-scroll, which was happening and too often.
I was wasting my energy and patience on this "supposed-to-be-fun" side project and I realized it was not [fun]. At least not with the expectations I put on it.
So I just stopped the Instagram cold turkey. And I will write when I get the chance and about things I care about and maybe one day I will get back to the gram for this account but for now, I really want to enjoy these little moments and years with my kids, and for me that means unplugging because I cannot multitask.
Also, I do not want the memory imprinted in their head of me holding my phone constantly, or of the top of my head as I look down to my phone. Because nothing bets a real smile and engagement from anyone- and I want to be the one to teach them that incredible feeling.
***And please, accounts that I follow- keep posting because I follow you because I love your content and what I learn and pick up. :-) I just can't be as awesome as you right now!